Yesterday, December 7, 2011 is a date that will forever be of important significance.
I got fired.
To say that the rug was pulled out from under me is an understatement. The rug was pulled out from under me, I was bashed in the head with a hammer, rolled up in the rug and then thrown into a trash compactor.
After 7 weeks of being a devoted and self-sacrificing employee, I was discarded like a piece of un-recycled garbage.
I know what most people are thinking. To be fired in such a short amount of time must mean that I was the most horrible, trouble making and irresponsible employee one could ever imagine. Not the case.
In fact, it was quite the opposite.
It was only a week ago that I was being praised for my hard work, eagerness and overall great personality from my fellow colleagues and upper management.
Coming in at 6:30 am and leaving after 7pm to make sure no crucial task was left unfinished, working 6 days during Thanksgiving week and making expensive office purchases on my personal debit card only to be told that I'd have to wait until the end of the month to be reimbursed was good enough for a pat on the back and a 'good job' but not enough to keep one.
So, what happened? How could the new office superstar go from being the talk of the company for all of her great contributions to the tainted slab of meat on the chopping block?
If there is one thing that I've learned, it is to never make excuses in business. If you think you're giving it your all, it's not enough. The same hand that was used to pat me on the back was holding the dagger that stabbed me in it.
Now the last thing I want to do is paint a picture of myself as the helpless victim. I take accountability.
I made the rookie mistake of being too nice and over extending myself.
When you say yes to everything and everyone thinks that their projects are more important than the next person's, it's hard to establish a healthy work balance. Especially when there is someone that takes advantage of it.
And when that someone with a heightened sense of self-importance feels like you've let them down, they will flex their power to punish you. I got slaughtered.
So there I was, in No-Where's-Ville, Indiana for a training workshop being told that 'I just don't cut it' and that I'd be flown back home immediately.
"It's just the way the world is. You're a really nice and really smart girl. We appreciate your time, but we think it's better that we separate now."
And with that I was driving myself in a rented mini-van to the airport. Too shocked to cry or feel anything.
I was numb.
To be honest, historically, I've fallen short of being the hardest working and giving the most spirited effort in anything.
In school I fell back on my natural intelligence. Just doing what I had to do to get by. My high school days were clouded by the mentality that I had "IT" and whatever having "IT" meant that I'd get to wherever I needed to be.
That worked for me until I got that college rejection letter from my top school choice, but having "IT" on my side got me accepted to an equally prestigious university. Lucky me.
4 years later, graduating not quite with honors, but with enough work to not be on academic probation, the economy was dead. I watched my hardest working friends not quite getting the jobs offers of their choice and got nervous about my odds. If they are struggling, how am I going to fair in this tough world that my Mom had always warned me about?
So after a year of being home and not seeing any opportunity for my "IT-ness" to thrive, I ran away. Sort of.
I booked a one-way ticket to Los Angeles, without a job a place to live and a small amount of money saved. I was rich in confidence.
An old college friend let me crash at his place for a bit while he was gone, but it was understood that I had to be gone, or leaving by the time he came home from his job that had him gone for the entire summer.
To sum up my first two years in LA in one paragraph would be impossible, but here are some adjectives to help you fill in the major details: Naive,irresponsible,cocky,complacent,embarrassed,uncomfortable, impoverished,humbled,frustrated,fragile,lonely,lost,whoreish,degraded, grief stricken,emotional,inspired, musical,ambitious,determined,educational,surviving and last but not least promising.
Do you pity me? Don't. Are you judging me? Whatever.
What happened to me yesterday was one of the worst feelings that I've ever felt in my life. Not just because I'm on my own with an expensive rent and outrageous student loans to pay, but because this time, after 2 years of my hard knock struggle, I felt like I got it. This was my blessing. I was making the money that would allow me to redeem my financial woes and finally a job that wasn't just a job, but a career.
My past experiences would not allow me to ever take this opportunity for granted, I worked hard, helped with any and everything that I could and for once in my life became a people pleaser. Something that I always rebelled against.
But alas, my best wasn't enough.
So with so much of my life at steak, why am I so happy? Because, I finally had my major failure experience. I'm now apart of an elite club that includes Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga and countless other leaders and world changers. We've FAILED!
If I could work that hard for a job that had nothing to do with my passions and interests, just imagine the damage I could do for something that did?
I'm thrilled.
Nervous, but not worried. I still have "IT' and Faith. Yep, luck is cute, but Faith is serious.
I'm a prayer, during good times and bad, I've learned to count my blessings. I've got a lot.
The only person that knows about what happened is my mother. She's devastated, but supportive. I'm not making any announcements or hosting any pity parties for myself. I didn't make a grand announcement when I got the job. (okay, that's a lie. I kinda did, but I'm sure you would too)
I know there's people that read this occasionally that know me and I'm not embarrassed. It is what it is.
Those who knew complacent, laid-back Daina can stop clutching your pearls and pick up your jaws.
I'm proud of myself. I left with pride and dignity. I could have 'Jerry Maguired' that whole office, but that wouldn't have changed the outcome. It happened.
My reason for posting this is selfish. I don't want to talk to anyone about it, but I need to vent. My hope is somewhere, someone stumbles upon this and it helps with whatever challenging situation that you may be going through. Life is too short to not fight for any and everything that you desire. Not giving the effort to make sure it happens is the greatest crime that you could ever commit against yourself, and anyone that could potentially be inspired by you.
Most people tell their failure stories after they've made their triumphant comeback.
I'm a strange bird, I want to tell my failure story while I'm still deep in the trenches. As you sit back and watch me fiercely and fearlessly maneuver myself out of this quicksand, I hope you take a moment to appreciate the comforts of your life and the challenges/setbacks that will ultimately make it more meaningful.
One of my favorite songs is 'Happy Feelings' by Frankie Beverly and Maze. The lyrics say "I've got myself to remind me of love. My mind and my heart and I believe in above. And these Happy Feelings, I'll spread them all over the world. I wish you Happy Feelings."
P.S. The whoreish adjective... So it wasn't like full blown, outright, all the way whore. Just kinda like a couple of ho-like decisions. Still judging me? Really?!... what the hell ever you damn prudes!
I got fired.
To say that the rug was pulled out from under me is an understatement. The rug was pulled out from under me, I was bashed in the head with a hammer, rolled up in the rug and then thrown into a trash compactor.
After 7 weeks of being a devoted and self-sacrificing employee, I was discarded like a piece of un-recycled garbage.
I know what most people are thinking. To be fired in such a short amount of time must mean that I was the most horrible, trouble making and irresponsible employee one could ever imagine. Not the case.
In fact, it was quite the opposite.
It was only a week ago that I was being praised for my hard work, eagerness and overall great personality from my fellow colleagues and upper management.
Coming in at 6:30 am and leaving after 7pm to make sure no crucial task was left unfinished, working 6 days during Thanksgiving week and making expensive office purchases on my personal debit card only to be told that I'd have to wait until the end of the month to be reimbursed was good enough for a pat on the back and a 'good job' but not enough to keep one.
So, what happened? How could the new office superstar go from being the talk of the company for all of her great contributions to the tainted slab of meat on the chopping block?
If there is one thing that I've learned, it is to never make excuses in business. If you think you're giving it your all, it's not enough. The same hand that was used to pat me on the back was holding the dagger that stabbed me in it.
Now the last thing I want to do is paint a picture of myself as the helpless victim. I take accountability.
I made the rookie mistake of being too nice and over extending myself.
When you say yes to everything and everyone thinks that their projects are more important than the next person's, it's hard to establish a healthy work balance. Especially when there is someone that takes advantage of it.
And when that someone with a heightened sense of self-importance feels like you've let them down, they will flex their power to punish you. I got slaughtered.
So there I was, in No-Where's-Ville, Indiana for a training workshop being told that 'I just don't cut it' and that I'd be flown back home immediately.
"It's just the way the world is. You're a really nice and really smart girl. We appreciate your time, but we think it's better that we separate now."
And with that I was driving myself in a rented mini-van to the airport. Too shocked to cry or feel anything.
I was numb.
To be honest, historically, I've fallen short of being the hardest working and giving the most spirited effort in anything.
In school I fell back on my natural intelligence. Just doing what I had to do to get by. My high school days were clouded by the mentality that I had "IT" and whatever having "IT" meant that I'd get to wherever I needed to be.
That worked for me until I got that college rejection letter from my top school choice, but having "IT" on my side got me accepted to an equally prestigious university. Lucky me.
4 years later, graduating not quite with honors, but with enough work to not be on academic probation, the economy was dead. I watched my hardest working friends not quite getting the jobs offers of their choice and got nervous about my odds. If they are struggling, how am I going to fair in this tough world that my Mom had always warned me about?
So after a year of being home and not seeing any opportunity for my "IT-ness" to thrive, I ran away. Sort of.
I booked a one-way ticket to Los Angeles, without a job a place to live and a small amount of money saved. I was rich in confidence.
An old college friend let me crash at his place for a bit while he was gone, but it was understood that I had to be gone, or leaving by the time he came home from his job that had him gone for the entire summer.
To sum up my first two years in LA in one paragraph would be impossible, but here are some adjectives to help you fill in the major details: Naive,irresponsible,cocky,complacent,embarrassed,uncomfortable, impoverished,humbled,frustrated,fragile,lonely,lost,whoreish,degraded, grief stricken,emotional,inspired, musical,ambitious,determined,educational,surviving and last but not least promising.
Do you pity me? Don't. Are you judging me? Whatever.
What happened to me yesterday was one of the worst feelings that I've ever felt in my life. Not just because I'm on my own with an expensive rent and outrageous student loans to pay, but because this time, after 2 years of my hard knock struggle, I felt like I got it. This was my blessing. I was making the money that would allow me to redeem my financial woes and finally a job that wasn't just a job, but a career.
My past experiences would not allow me to ever take this opportunity for granted, I worked hard, helped with any and everything that I could and for once in my life became a people pleaser. Something that I always rebelled against.
But alas, my best wasn't enough.
So with so much of my life at steak, why am I so happy? Because, I finally had my major failure experience. I'm now apart of an elite club that includes Oprah Winfrey, Warren Buffet, Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga and countless other leaders and world changers. We've FAILED!
If I could work that hard for a job that had nothing to do with my passions and interests, just imagine the damage I could do for something that did?
I'm thrilled.
Nervous, but not worried. I still have "IT' and Faith. Yep, luck is cute, but Faith is serious.
I'm a prayer, during good times and bad, I've learned to count my blessings. I've got a lot.
The only person that knows about what happened is my mother. She's devastated, but supportive. I'm not making any announcements or hosting any pity parties for myself. I didn't make a grand announcement when I got the job. (okay, that's a lie. I kinda did, but I'm sure you would too)
I know there's people that read this occasionally that know me and I'm not embarrassed. It is what it is.
Those who knew complacent, laid-back Daina can stop clutching your pearls and pick up your jaws.
I'm proud of myself. I left with pride and dignity. I could have 'Jerry Maguired' that whole office, but that wouldn't have changed the outcome. It happened.
My reason for posting this is selfish. I don't want to talk to anyone about it, but I need to vent. My hope is somewhere, someone stumbles upon this and it helps with whatever challenging situation that you may be going through. Life is too short to not fight for any and everything that you desire. Not giving the effort to make sure it happens is the greatest crime that you could ever commit against yourself, and anyone that could potentially be inspired by you.
Most people tell their failure stories after they've made their triumphant comeback.
I'm a strange bird, I want to tell my failure story while I'm still deep in the trenches. As you sit back and watch me fiercely and fearlessly maneuver myself out of this quicksand, I hope you take a moment to appreciate the comforts of your life and the challenges/setbacks that will ultimately make it more meaningful.
One of my favorite songs is 'Happy Feelings' by Frankie Beverly and Maze. The lyrics say "I've got myself to remind me of love. My mind and my heart and I believe in above. And these Happy Feelings, I'll spread them all over the world. I wish you Happy Feelings."
P.S. The whoreish adjective... So it wasn't like full blown, outright, all the way whore. Just kinda like a couple of ho-like decisions. Still judging me? Really?!... what the hell ever you damn prudes!
3 comments:
This is great. Not many people can handle this much adversity and have a positive attitude. Good luck with finding another job!
Thank you! Being positive no the circumstance has been one of the most powerful things I've learned in life
We have all been here in one way or another; be it careers, families, relationships. However, it does not dictate the future, and with the right attitude this can be the springboard that takes you to the next level, and I think you are well on your way!
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