An Open Letter To My Mother

Dear Mimi,

today marks the 2nd Mother's day that we've been separated by 3,000 miles. I know that it's been a tough transition for you, but despite your feelings, you have been unconditionally supportive of me and my decisions.

As your only child we have experienced every milestone and pitfall of my life together. Sometimes it seems like you take on the pain harder than I do. I also know that sometimes it seems like I don't appreciate you as much as I should and it hurts you. Saying "sorry" a million times could never repair some of the pain that I've caused you.

For all the tears you've secretly shed, all the anger, worry and embarrassment that you've felt on account of me, I'm saying thank you. Thank you for loving me enough to forgive me each and every single time. 

No child is perfect, but let's be honest, I've been far from great.

I've been hardheaded, stubborn and at times a rotten brat. Yet every time, you've stopped at nothing to sacrifice for me.

Most of the toughest struggles in my life's journey have come on account of my rebellious defiance. You've said so many times, "I told you so" and it kills me every time to realize when it's too late that I should've just listened to you from the very beginning. 

Thank goodness our rough patches are just that, patches. 

The best part of my relationship with you is our friendship. You are the most loyal, honest and kind hearted woman I know. I love our honesty with each other, you give it to me straight up without holding back, and you expect the same from me. Our bluntness may at times hurt each other's feelings, but if your best friend can't tell you the honest truth, who else will?

I don't always tread lightly when it comes to your feelings, but you already know I will protect you from any outsider trying to cause you pain, and you'd do the same for me.

You are a blessing, and I feel so grateful to have you. Many children take their parents for granted, but I think about Aunt Jackie and how tomorrow isn't promised for any of us, I put myself right back in check. I have you now and I'll honor you now. 

I've been telling you ever since I was a kid that one day I'd make you proud of me. One day I'll retire you and let you live off of all my money. I still tell you that, but it's not as cute anymore now that I'm grown and in over my head in student loan debt. You still entertain my imagination, and for that I love you.

One day these big thoughts and dreams will turn out to be something. I have faith, because you taught me to have faith.

You've been everything to me that I couldn't be to myself, and for that I'm blessed. 

I've tried to hide things from you, but you know me better than I know myself. Sometimes I feel so misunderstood by so many people, but it doesn't matter because I know you understand the real me.

You might not always like the way that I dress or even the way that I wear my hair, but you love me.

As mother and daughter we butt heads, but as best friends we have each other's backs no matter what. For this I love you.

There will never be enough "sorrys" or "I Love yous" to make up for all the love, nurturing and support that you've given me, but I will always try to make you proud. 

Mothers day is a day that comes and goes every year, but the energy, love and support that you give me comes everyday and never goes away.  For that I can never repay you. Thank you for everything.

Daina